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(no subject) [Aug. 17th, 2009|11:46 am]
Steven and I went on a plant walk on Wednesday and got schooled in medinicinal plants. He was not into the smudging and joining hands in a circle (neither was I -- touching strangers is nasty unless they're coming to me for makeup/skincare advice.) But in all, we had a good time. We went back Sunday and collected some plants and had a leisurely stroll through the forest. And it wouldn't be a leisurely stroll without a turned ankle, naturally. Only this time I slid down a hill while in the process of my ankle failing, so it's sprained. I've had enough sprained ankles in my life to know how to handle this, but it's still frustrating. Why do my ankles do this to me?

I am very pleased to be learning about herbal treatments that are available in the area. I hate doctors and the pharmaceuticals they force on people.

Which brings me to health care. I wish my fellow Americans would get over it. I'm not saying Obama is perfect, but he isn't some muslim lovechild of Hitler and Stalin. I know I teeter more towads Freedom than Justice on the politcal scale, but healthcare is a basic right that no one should be denied. I'm not happy with my health insurance. I've seen my parents have to go through a drastic change in their benefits so frequently that I'd like the companies to be checked by something that isn't for profit.

Here in Arizona, I hear people piss and moan about Obama and his neomarxistislamicnationalsocialistmeaniepoopieheadangryblackman regime too fucking much. The man inherited a fucking mess. I hear it form old people most of all, and I hate hearing old farts complain. They've retired too early just because they could, they draw on social security while they're still mentally and physically able to work (and I understand that the government just gives them a check as soon as they hit 65, but something needs to change about that), they are an all around drain on society. They get plenty of help from the government, so much so that there won't be anything left for anyone in my generation. So please, just stifle. Between the so-called Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers we, as a species governed by Western hegemony, have managed to drive most of the world into starvation, put a hole in the ozone layer and melt polar ice -- to name just a few of humanity's notable achievements of the 20th century. You guys fail! You had the wrong idea. Be a little more receptive to change. A public option for healthcare is the least of our worries.

I share my life with someone who has never been insured in his life. Anyone who is adamantly opposed to a government run healthcare option for those whose jobs don't offer it and can't afford their own plan have likely never seen someone punch themselves in the face to take their mind off a toothache they can't afford to get fixed, or never seen someone fall down a flight of stairs during an epileptic seizure, end up with black eyes and multiple head wounds that needed stitches, and then refuse treatment because of the cost. I know that this is an America that none of us like to admit exists, but it's getting bigger and bigger.
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2009|11:24 am]
My raise is official. Beginning this pay period, I will be earning 25% more than I was. This is good. But it also means I will actually have to become a salesperson instead of taking advantage of every area of the department being understaffed. At this point I just want to stay at my current rate of pay for as long as possible, no more shooting for raises; supporting myself at this new rate seems impossible.

I finally got the schedule for the orientation and training for new tutors with the literacy volunteers. I was expecting some sort of notification, but as it gets closer to "the fall," which was the nebulous time I was given for the new tutor orientation, I decided to look into it myself. My new counter manager already made the schedule for September and gave it to the ASM (fan-fucking-tastic.) I adore having to plan the details of my life a month and a half in advance, by the way. It must be the greatest thing about working there. It shouldn't be a problem, getting the times I need off. And if it is, I will take it off anyway. Not like I'll get fired; I hate to take this attitude, but it takes a lot for Dillard's to let anyone go. I've seen plenty of people not work their scheduled shifts and the apocalypse has yet to commence. I think they could turn the other way for all the times I've come in early or stayed late or offered to come in on my days off when people call in or quit with no notice.

Moreover, I did inform my ASM (before my transfer to Lancome) and the new counter manager (recently) that despite all the undue stress and absurdity that is retail cosmetics, I actually don't hate my job, I take it seriously and take pride in my work, I don't mind being there and doing what needs to be done, and plan on working there for a long while (by retail standards) at least in some part-time capacity. I was very frank, saying that I really don't want to commit myself to a career in retail and that I've begun exploring other options and that I will need to change my availability according to the new commitments I've made. I'm just hoping it works out. I'm sure it will create problems -- because anything regarding a limitation to one's availability in this work does -- but I don't want them to be insurmountable. It would be in their interest to do what they can to keep me around, considering I haven't stolen anything or gone crazy and quit by now.
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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2009|12:39 pm]
I had a wonderful birthday.

Steven's parents came up and took us to IHOP. Then he and his dad went to see the Cardinals practice and his mom and I did some shopping. I had gift cards burning holes in my pockets and she needed to get supplies for the shower she's planning for me. I ended up getting some skincare and shirts for work at Target (my manager openly uses Neutrogena moisturizer so I don't feel guilty about not dropping $25 on toner). I bought some socks and earrings at Kohl's. I did get some Lancome lip gloss and bought myself lunch at the food court on Monday.

Steven got me fancy new underthings, pomegranate syrup and sparkling water for Italian soda, a bowl with chopsticks and a soup spoon for my ramen, the lapis lazuli pendant I've been drooling over for months, and some books. One is about bread baking. The other was a very sweet gesture, considering how he doesn't usually show any interest in paganism and witchcraft -- some book about Hedgewitchery by Silver Ravenwolf. I just didn't have the heart to tell him Silver Ravenwolf is a crap author. I've read through most of it, and I guess she's gotten over whatever persecution complex she had and isn't telling kids to lie to their parents and to hide their altars, anymore. I've read plenty by reputable offers and have enough experience to take her stuff with a grain of salt and extract anything of value that might be hidden. I'll probably use some of the recipes for incense and soap she provides. He told me this is why he got that particular book instead of any of the others he saw. He also made me pot roast with carrots and potatoes for dinner.

I also bought some supplements and a protein shake mix at GNC and I joined a gym that's open 24 hours so that I can still work out despite my stupid retail schedule. I got some bug up my butt over losing 35 pounds before the wedding.
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2009|11:42 am]
Just When I Thought I Didn't Hate My Job, or The Customer is Always Right

I had the most trying day, ever, yesterday. I am not saying I'm not grateful to have a job; I am up for a pretty sweet raise soon. I think, though, that what happened yesterday was the universe sending me a huge message, telling me this is not what I need to be spending the rest of my life doing. I pride myself on my reason, I didn't always have it and I had to work very hard to develop it; it is profoundly upsetting to me to see older and more successful people less reasonable and rational than me.

Customer #1 throws a shitfit because we are out of her foundation and brings her mother into it. She, thank the powers that be, tried to calm her down because wherever they were headed obviously had a better mall with more high end stores and the likelihood of her finding what she needed there was beyond excellent. Guess what, toots, it's the last week of Gift With Purchase. We are out of damn near everything. If you didn't wait until you were totally out of your makeup the day before you had to leave town to go to your high school reunion, I could have ordered it for you and had it sent to your house. You could have ordered it online from Lancome itself because they have everything in stock, all the time. I gave her two sample bottles and she became a whole lot nicer, and promised to buy it from me when she came back because surely those would get her through her trip. Damn straight, I just handed away a 20 day supply. If you ever want something for free from a cosmetics counter, go into hysterics. The only way we know how to handle it is to give you stuff.

Customer #2 is mad because she was in yesterday, spent more than $55 and didn't get the step-up gift. First of all, she didn't know she was even going to get a gift yesterday. Some people who can afford Lancome all the time, no matter what, waltz in and get whatever they need whenever they need it. This lady was one of them, and she was thrilled to get something for free. Our promotion was extended another week. If it weren't, she would have gotten nothing when she came in. But, she looked online and saw that there were step-up gifts when you spent more than the $29.50 to get the gift. Yes, it was a killer deal (a full size day or night cream, they are usually $48 if one was to buy it outright). That is why there are none left. Read the fine print: "while supplies last." They didn't last. You lose. However, since I'm already shaken from the first angry lady, I give her the option of choosing little packs of goodies we put together, to save for when we are having events in the store. Once again, throw a fit, get free stuff.

Customer #3 was some drunk guy with a huge backpack and headphones. Thankfully he wasn't totally my problem as I was doing a consultation and he was harassing the whole department. I was afraid he was going to make off with my expensive testers, but he was just a pest. One of the girls called security, but not before he stuck his fingers in a pot of brown cream eyeliner and put it on his lips. Honestly, only in Flagstaff.

Customer #4 takes the cake. She was the third pissy lady and the second total head case of the day. She came in and I was in the middle of taking care of someone, I told her I'd be right with her. She needed a good foundation to wear for her outside wedding. When one of the older fragrance ladies politely said it would be better if she waited for me to find her a foundation because I knew more about the line than she did, the crazy bitch stormed off. She didn't come back until I was at lunch, and apparently one of the Clinique girls helped her. Naturally, we were out of her foundation but she bought $105.50 of other items. While the Clinique girl was finishing up with her, I came back. And here's what's key: I saw her put her product in the bag. A few hours go by, the lady's totally pissed, saying whoever rang her up didn't put her products in the bag. I told her there are a lot of bags with the GWP, they might not be clearly visibe. She said she'd already taken everything apart and looked high and low for them. I then put her on the phone with the Clinique girl, as I figured she'd have a better recollection of what might have happened and where her items may have ended up. Meanwhile, I'm looking for the stuff that was allegedly left at the counter. Not there. Essentially we offer to take her word for it and eat the loss to keep her happy. We also say that we need approval from management before anything happens. While management is approving the whole shenanigans, she calls the counter again, wondering where we are. I say the stuff is on it's way out there, I'm not sure why no one's brought it to her, but they are probably looking the transaction up.

It's sketchy because the name she gave us didn't match up to the card she used in the purchase, and it's weird because she wants the merchandise brought out to her Range Rover idling outside. Evidently she provided us with her nickname and what will be her married name. I told the bosses I would know her if I saw her, so they asked me to go out with them. That's when it all broke loose. She's mad about having to wait for us to look up the transaction, she's mad at us about wanting to see ID and the card she paid with, she's mad about us wanting to see the receipt -- she made a special trip just to get this stuff, she's late for her appointment on the other side of town, and if she knew this was going to be such an ordeal she would have waited to come in. We had security with us because the situation seemed totally amiss, that's all. No one was accusing her of anything (she felt like we were treating her like a criminal), we just wanted to cover our bases. She was totally out of line, yelling at the store manager, and the ASM who was with me, and I felt like she was yelling at me too, even though I said nothing to her beyond my apology to her on the phone. She went on and on about how she and her fiance just purchsed a new home and spent thousands in the home department on all the furnishings. Here's the thing: She was telling me she just spent more money at Dillard's in two weeks than most of us working there take home in a month! My sympathy for her is totally gone, especially in light of her tantrum. Hopefully after she gets married in her fancy wedding and gets back from her long and expensive honeymoon she'll have her head enough out of her bridezilla ass to realize how totally unreasonable she was being.

Bottom line: We don't need business form people like that, especially when it ends up in a loss for the counter. It doesn't matter how much money you have to throw around on fancy crap, you have no right to be so miserable to anyone.

And the moral of the story is, it's only makeup. It's not the end of the world.
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How depressing. [Jun. 10th, 2009|10:52 am]
[Current Mood | cranky]

The supreme court rejected the appeal regarding snowmaking on the San Francisco Peaks. I'm not very involved in this issue, but I am against Snowbowl using reclaimed water to make snow on the mountain.

There's a matter of environmental impact -- you can't get everything out of treated effluent. What typically remains are pharmaceuticals, and given how many we take in this day and age, I don't think it's a great idea. The compounds in birth control pills, for example, could have a serious effect on species endemic to such a specialized area as the Peaks. There are plants and critters that exist only there and if they all become feminized they won't be around much longer.

There's also that pesky little issue of the Peaks being sacred to over 13 tribes in the region. Not like that's ever mattered in any question of Anglo development anywhere in this Land, but given the gravity of the function of the Peaks, perhaps this is a good time for it to be considered. I'm not as aware as I could be regarding the lore of the Peaks to everyone who holds them sacred. However, for the Hopi the Peaks are where the Kachinas live. Kachinas bring the moisture (which is pretty crucial to this area regardless of what paradigm you're living in) and if Humanity goes around making our own snow and plopping it right at their doorstep it, to say the least, is not the most respectful thing. I know a lot of people don't want to hear the religious arguments, but given how rapidly Western culture is destroying itself and its environment it may do us some good to consider respecting the ways and observances of a people who have thrived in this precarious place for a long time before us.

And then there's my beef. I really don't think we need any more reasons for stinking rich Phoenicians to buy any more fucking second homes here. Plain and simple. I don't care if they patronize the stores and restaurants. They are rude and inconsiderate, they reek of entitlement and, above all, they do not respect the land -- here or anywhere else. It's questionable that Snowbowl being able operate all season long would make that significant a difference in local revenue and whatever jobs it did create would likely be seasonal, demeaning service jobs that didn't pay shit (like most every other job here.) Why don't we improve some infrastructure or maybe build a solar or wind power plant if we want our locals to have jobs?

I don't want any more fools who dwell in climate controlled McMansions in an even drier desert getting lost within walking distance from their vacation cottage in the mountains because they didn't have the sense to get their bearings, remember that the Sun rises in the East and sets in the West, or to just not go out for their Adventure in the Woods when conditions aren't going to accommodate their total ignorance of anything natural. They maim our Forest with their four-wheelers. I don't want any more resources expended on their search and rescue when they don't have the sense to remember where they parked the damned things before they went wandering off. They have already shat where they eat and sleep and now they have been colonizing Flagstaff because it is a Charming Mountain Town with Four Seasons. I wish they'd all end up dead from exposure in the Woods, for all the good they do us.
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2009|01:03 pm]
We've set our date for October 24. It is going to be a remarkably small wedding. I made the mistake of going to the recently opened bridal shop in town. I honestly went in there with no expectations, but I am not going to pay a lot of money for a dress I will only wear once in front of only a handful of friends and family. Moreover, I hate wearing white and ivory (I accept that they are very different colors; I will still look like a blimp in either.) I also got treated like I was stupid for not having a better idea of what dress I wanted with my wedding coming up "so soon"...in October! Not like I'm planning a gala with 500 of my closest friends. I wasn't one of those girls who dreamed of how their wedding was going to be. I wouldn't even be having one if common law marriages existed in this state. (Thank you, state legislature of Mormons.)

And naturally, everything was strapless.

I understand that my flabby arms are my own problem and that I could rememedy the problem fairly easily with some exercises. However the flab is a result of the weight I put on, quite rapidly, during my period of being heavily medicated. I'm talking 80 pounds in 2 months, here, not your normal weight gain. (Shame I was a healthy weight to begin with, otherwise I'd have gotten diabetes and ended up with a huge settlement.) So not only do my upper arms flap in the breeze, they're covered in stretch marks. I hate them. I wonder if I could sue the drug company for pain and suffering induced by their bad medicine.

I left the shop knowing I need to lose 30 pounds. This always happens when I go shopping for clothes, but picturing myself all flabby and gross in a wedding dress ruined my day. I need chocolate and carbs right now, so I will have to start in a few days. Hopefully this wedding planning will stress me out and induce my gastritis so I can puke up everything I eat with it being a medical condition beyond my control instead of being an eating disorder. That's usually how I end up losing weight, and it's always why I end up putting it back on once my life gets back to normal.

What kills me is that I could just as easily go to the courthouse wearing jeans and a tshirt, then go out for pizza afterwards and call it my dream wedding. I'm putting on a fancy dress and prancing around with flowers for other people.
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2008|05:16 pm]
[Current Mood | cynical]

Obama just lost the election. All the democrats are stupid twats, and although Hillary lies like a dog, at least she has the sense to not insult a great number of the people on whose votes people like her depend.

You don't court the majority of the electorate by chalking their beliefs in (or "cling"ing to, if you will) God and guns up their proletarian discontent. It offends even me, and I'm in college (theoretically making me non-proletarian, despite my beliefs, I guess), and have little if no faith -- for all practical purposes. I have a taste for target shooting, and I would hunt were I not squeamish and frankly as someone who likes guns and isn't scared of them and doesn't view them as the lethal tool of sociopaths most liberals would have you think they are, I take offense at being lumped into the category of some religious rightwinger, I guess, because only religious hicks like guns, right? Honestly, all the gun enthusiasts I've met have precious little belief in anything. This is not how rich, Ivy League educated (if only nominally) W. duped America into thinking he's some Texan good ol' boy, in it for the common man. His idiocy is not what appealed to people, liberal elitism repulsed them.

This is why liberal darlings of the intelligentsia don't win. Most of the country resents you, don't you see? It's not the easiest choice, but when it comes down to being screwed by neo-con policies, watching good jobs go overseas and prices of everything increase, or being treated like an idiot, I honestly would choose the former.

Thank you McCarthy, for removing the balls and working class appeal from the Left. Thank you Liberal Academia, for making everyone hate you for being the post-Enlightenment secular priesthood that you are. If you weren't so convuluted and snobby more people would listen to you. duh. Remove your mortarboards and see the facts. When it usually takes incurring some kind of horrific debt or loaded parents to get an education, waving it in the electorate's face is not going to make them vote for you. SAT words and hifalutin ideas don't appeal to me or most other people. It makes sense that people who live paycheck to paycheck and worry about that don't have much concern for Heidegger's metaphysics or Hegel's dialectic or WHATEVER when basic survival needs must first be met. Even I don't like assholes who use big words I don't know, and after busting by butt in school, there aren't many of those left.

The sentiment that valued "intellectuals" over "workers," academic pursuit over concrete productivity is what justified slavery in the Confederacy. You'd think people so damned educated would learn something from history.

ATTENTION ALL COASTS! ATTENTION ALL COASTS! Not everyone in the fly-over zone is some dumb Bible-thumping hick. You might win us over by not treating us as such. Yeah, I'm a Jersey transplant to AZ, but it gets personal when friends and loved ones are insulted. I like it here, too. People like me do better in places where your peers don't act so superior.

Republicans or Democrats, some days I can't pick who I hate more.

It's really a sad, sad thing to lose faith in your country.
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(no subject) [Apr. 2nd, 2007|07:15 pm]
Hello everyone. There are a lot of people on friendslist that I don't communicate with in any way anymore. These folks are going off of my flist. If you still want to be my lj-friend after this long period of mutual silence, drop a comment here. If not, it was fun.
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I'd like to say just a few things... [Jan. 20th, 2007|05:44 pm]
Democrats, can you give us no one better than some guy who writes a book about how great and successful he is, with less experience in D.C. than I've had in college and a sexually cold, sickeningly rich tired old windbag? Honestly. And also, please, if you've got a decent candidate who is running on a populist platform let it be someone with the politcal savvy to know that an open populist won't win in this country? He could've kept his plans to eliminate poverty to himself until after he won. Now, there's not a chance. Do you think New England liberal intellectuals want to eliminate poverty? If everyone in this country had the leisure time to read Kirkegaard and F. Scott Fitzgerald and go skiing how would those people feel special about themselves? Goddamn, what would happen to Harvard and Yale and all those institutions of bought and paid for opportunity in that moneyed armpit of our country if we eliminated poverty? That means they'd probably have to deal with living with a bit less in the bank. "Sorry, dearest. We can't go to Aspen this winter. We have to go be re-educated because our new president wants to eliminate poverty. We won't be able to send our idiot richkid offspring to Ivy League schools, either." Boo-fucking-hoo. I wish democrats would just choke and die. Maybe it would clear the space for a Left that actually gave a damn instead of just pretending to believe what they do to get over the guilt trip of having filthy rich parents.

You guys, just because I'll vote for someone on the grounds that they are not Neo-Cons (i.e. the pile of shit that stinks less) doesn't mean everyone else will. It's not like the lands between NYC and LA are voids filled with people who can't think, have hard-ons for Jesus and are warlike. Honestly, I don't like voting for someone who bought a fancy degree, gets off on skiing and talks down to me either. Get a clue.

You'll probably get a President in 08, just because I think so many people are tired of Neo-Cons. But jesuschristalmighty, please let it not be some damned elitist shitforbrains rich douchebag.
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I try to keep foaming mouthed rants like these to a minimum, but... [Dec. 28th, 2006|10:18 am]
[Current Mood | angry]
[Current Music |NPR]

You know, whenever I hear about the Cuban exile community in Miami I just get pissed off at them. Please, don't bitch about Castro. I'm sure you could've stayed in your wonderful homeland if you could've lived without private property and maybe a little less money than you were accustomed to. Maybe if your parents and grandparents, dear Miami Cubans, weren't sugar planters who fucked a bunch of people over with their private property/private business, or academics and other idlers who make money for doing essentially nothing for their living, they wouldn't have had to flea to a country where we love businesses who fuck people over and people who've figured out how to survive by sitting around acting smarter than everyone else. And maybe Cuba wouldn't be in the shite state of affairs it's in now if their money stayed there to help the people of your homeland. So I'd like to give a big fuck you to Cuban exiles in Miami. And saying "fuck you" isn't nearly as bad as wishing death on a man who is already dying and relishing every last bit of news of his suffering, selling cider with a label indicating it is to be opened only upon the death of Fidel Castro, selling toilet paper with his picture on it -- you're in the States, living as high if not higher on the hog as you did in Cuba so just shut up, stop drawing attention to yourselves. We don't need any more people bitching about Communism, we had our fill in the fucking 1950s and that's why the Left of this country is full of effete rich liberals who bought their degrees from goddamn Yale or Harvard or whatever other puffed up Ivy League school that harbors more idiots, more fools, more unskilled, uninformed so-called students than a community college of all places (and yes, I've spoken to my share of Ivy Leaguers/those who want to be/have been and Community Collegers, and the latter are much more together with their lives -- we're all made to believe the opposite is true. The fact that I have a 4.0 at NAU, a public Univeristy and get confused for a student attending Coconino Community College only because I'm decent to fellow human beings and don't act like a damned fool is sad) who do nothing but throw money at problems. (But I digress) You're in a fucking country that allows you to have private property and enough money to buy opportunity; if Cuba, your homeland, was so important to you, perhaps you'd have stayed there and dealt with that pesky little thing called Socialism. I think your money and property are more important; maybe you miss the climate, you miss the land, but if you were in Cuba you'd miss your ownership of the land and money a lot more and I guess the impoverished people there would cramp your style so just shut up about Castro ruining your life when most Miami Cubans at this point were born and raised in Miami making them American not Cuban. Castro didn't impose suffering on the Cuban people, I don't think pinko trash commie bastards are really into the suffering of the People, last I checked. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think Fidel should have been in power for 47 years, the man's no saint but look at the mess he had to deal with. The Embargo, goddamn perestroika and the disintegration of the USSR have done more damage than a dictator perpetuus could. Rome lasted for a good long while with that sort of deal, remember? Cuba did a goddamn better job because it lasted with that sort of leader while not being the Imperialistic Dungheap that Rome was. Oh, I forgot, we like Imperialism; never mind. For God's sake, the Revolution got rid of Batista (who was a great nasty sonofabitch, wasn't he, himself, mind you...oh, but he let American businesses own a whole bunch of Cuba, so that makes him much, much better, doesn't it?) if enough people in Cuba were that unhappy with their lives they could have -- would have by God -- gotten rid of Castro. The Love of Capitalism is what ruinied "your" Country; not Socialism, not Communism, not the Revolution, not Castro. The almighty Dollar and America as World Police did the damage, not some poor bastard wearing fatigues, who wanted to do good despite practically the rest of the World thinking it's just fine to have a few people with everything and a whole bunch with very little or nothing, who's now dying of a goddamned cancerous GI tract. I know I'm biased: I don't like big business, I don't like private property, I don't like Capitalism, I don't like America's version of "Democracy," I think Imperialism is nasty, I'd rather go back to living in tiny autonomous bands of hunter-gatherers for the love of God, so maybe I'm a little insensitive to the plight of people who had to leave a country because they had too much. But there is a man who is old and dying who also happens to be Fidel Castro. I'll rant and rave until I'm blue in the goddamn face and foaming at the mouth, but I'd never wish a death by cancer on the aged leader of a sovereign nation, for God's sake, no matter how much I didn't like him. I certainly wouldn't have a big fuckin shindig whenever I heard he was doing worse, and I'm the godless heathen pinko trash, for the love of God! Have some respect for the dying and the dead, Miami Cuban exiles. Big Bad Fidel Castro won't mess up your lives for much longer. You and America will have your go at Cuba soon enough, I'm sure. Just lay off for now. It's disrespectful. It pisses me off.

[And I know this is long as hell, but it's not going behind a cut.]
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